No Tresspassing

There is an episode from the tv show “The Office” where the boss, Michael, uses a GPS to get somewhere and the GPS sends him the wrong way. He continues to go that way assuming that the GPS knows the way and he ends up driving his car into a lake. Such a funny episode by the way, if you have not yet seen it. We love “The Office.” But anyways, we had a similar experience this weekend. It didn’t end up the same way for us though. We weren’t that stupid, thank goodness. Thanks to our parents who passed along the smart genes!

Here’s our story.

Gabe got a text Saturday afternoon letting him know that he got a job and he was texted an address of the house. We have already figured out that the GPS isn’t that reliable out here in Alaska, but it’s usually just a couple streets off. So we start driving out there and we turn down a dirt road, which isn’t uncommon. There were houses but they were a bit, pardon my phrase, uh umm “white trash-like.” It was a slummy area. After a few houses there are signs on the sides of the road which read:

PRIVATE PROPERTY

NO TRESPASSING

AREA UNDER 24/7 VIDEO SURVEILLANCE

TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED

The signs kept popping up further down the dirt road and I didn’t make much of it until I started seeing weird objects off the side of the road. There were old broken appliances, white trash bags of who knows what, and what caught me off guard – a ratty boot with a hole in the bottom of it. I convinced myself it was a bullet hole. I told Gabe, “I think they take the “Trespassers will be prosecuted” phrase a bit serious.” Only joking. The road got narrower and bumpier. We were off-roading in our Honda civic. But we figured the road had to be taking us somewhere. There was a tree that had fallen across the road and we drove right over it, and we passed a shooting area of some sorts. We drove maybe like 2 and a ½ miles on this road without seeing a sign of life and decided that maybe we ought to turn around when we saw two big mud holes in the road ahead of us. We had to back up for ½ a mile because the road was too skinny. Thankfully, Gabe inherited the good-backer-upper gene too. The GPS told us we still had 3 miles to go and I don’t think we would have made it there safely. It should have taken us 10 minutes to get there but it took us 45.

At least we weren’t as stupid as Michael.

Sincerely,

Sun Deprived Me